Sadness...somewhat unexplained

I have been feeling quite weepy of late. Anxious and sad, too. I have been chasing all kinds of thoughts through my head and yesterday landed on my Grandpa.

He passed away quickly and unexpectedly on March 6th, 2006. Four days before my 33rd birthday. Nineteen days before my son's 1st birthday. About a week before I would have announced my pregnancy with my 2nd child. And, five days before he was to have walked his youngest daughter down the aisle.

He was a man you wanted to be proud of you. He worked his way up in "big-car" company. He retired and went back to work for the same "big-car" company as a consultant. He helped the company set up plants in China (twice) and Egypt. He was amazing and yet, he was just Grandpa. I will always cherish the memories of summers with he and my Grandma...him at the kitchen table with his coffee, cigarettes, and his stamp collection. In later years, he traded the cigs and stamps for a laptop. We'd pile in the Jeep in the dusk hours for a "deer ride" and would drive slowly around the countryside looking for deer. The more we saw, the better the ride. We would sometimes drive to A&W for a root beer float (or just a root beer in a cute little kid's mug). We always went to 4th of July fireworks...and he always bought some for his own show too.

He died before I got to tell him that I was proud of him, too. I didn't tell him a lot of things I wish I would have. It's not as easy as one would think, but I'm trying to not make that mistake with others who are important to me.

You're never promised tomorrow, you know. Use your today like you mean it.